When Plasmids Came Into This World

 
VERSE                                           CHORUS

When plasmids came into this world		Conjugation, Penetration, Consummation
Who'd have thought that they would be		Oh that's great
A problem for the doctors			De-repress your inhibition
And a research grant for me			Find a mate and aggregate
We see them keep on growing			Now penetrate the membrane
World-widely they abound			Right onto the chromosome
Collecting genes like garbage			If you miss you're just a plasmid
And passing them around				Try to be an episome!

When I was just a little gene			Conjugation, Penetration, Consummation
Upon the chromosome				Oh that's great
A plasmid sat down next to me			De-repress your inhibition
Said "Don't be a stay-at-home!"			Find a mate and aggregate
Excise with me, I have the stuff		Now penetrate the membrane
My tra genes are intact			        Right onto the chromosome
The time has come for you to learn		If you miss you're just a plasmid
About the mating act.				Try to be an episome!

I am a lively pilus				Conjugation, Penetration, Consummation
On the surface of a cell			Oh that's great
I have a reputation				De-repress your inhibition
As a sexy organelle				Find a mate and aggregate
It's my good luck, I'm not Fin+	                Now penetrate the membrane
I'm always out to play				Right onto the chromosome
When I attach, oh what a match			If you miss you're just a plasmid
We have a holiday!				Try to be an episome!

I am a special entity				Illegitimate recombination, transfor-
Oh happy happy me				mation are just two
My life is full of fun and games		Of the acts that we do daily
And promiscuity					In and out of each of you
Who else can flit so easily			We are Nature's way of giving
From one mate to the next			Special functions which you'll use
No care about the species			To survive the contamination
And even less the sex!				In the stuff they call their foods.
 

A Horny Streptococcus

 
VERSE                                           CHORUS

A horny Streptococcus				Stimulation, titulation
Encultured with a male				CIA will turn you on
Exudes her sexy pheromone			You'll become a hairy fellow
And leaves a perfumed trail			What a joy to gaze upon
He likes her smell, it turns him on		It's a positive experience
He sprouts a fuzzy coat				For a fecalis male
Once they begin their friends join in		Forget it, you Gram Negatives
A gangcoccal Love Boat				You're only doomed to fail

I'm losing my stability				When you're in a bad position
My vector's in arrears				Transposition is the thing
My cop is low, my rep is gone,	                Look around for a new target
I fear the end is near				Grab ahold and move right in
Don't hold me back, I've got to go		Though you're needy, don't be greedy
It's clear I have two P				Just one copy is enough
My neat repeat provides a seat			If you amplify your genome
It's in or out for me				You will just Muc up the stuff

I am a binding protein				Cut me up and rearrange me
Though my domains are few			Up my cop and probe me too
Expose me to a protease				If you fuse me don't confuse me
And I'll split into two				With another gal that's blue
If you need me for a footprint			If you must tinker, add a linker
Just don't disturb my pleats			For example, pro X gly
You can have my alpha helix			If you prove yourself a thinker
Slip 'twixt my beta sheets			I will give you perfect pi

I was just a quiet gene				Cut me up and rearrange me
In total self-control				Up my cop and probe me too
I hid behind a fig leaf				If you fuse me don't confuse me
With my regulation soul				With another gal thats blue
Now my partisome is parted			If you must tinker, add a linker
And I am in a jam				For example, pro X gly
But I don't give a dcm			        If you prove yourself a thinker
And I don't give a dam			        I will give you perfect pi

Naomi kicked the meeting off
Her plasmids are just smashing
Then she put her glasses on
And shocked us all b flashing
She impressed us with her super
Com-pa-ti-bi-li-ty
Though she's retiring to Chiswick
She leaves a legacy
 

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